Category: Essays

Love never insists

There is’nt anything you can do, you cannot go against this awakening and you cannot accelerate it. Questions arise because  somewhere on the intuitive level the mind knows that something is happening of which it itself is not in control. The mind cannot ever produce silence, the mind is product of silence and therefore cannot produce what has been precedent to itself. But occasionally the mind can become aware of the approaching of this presence and although this is the thing that the mind wants the very most it is also the thing that it fears the most. It is the same scheme, the same game when you are falling in love. You see that you want to fall in love and at the same time a major part of you wants to resist it taking place. What you desire the most is what you fear the most because intuitively you know that if you fall in Love you give yourself up to love and you dissolve. Seen that it is Love that creates the entire Universe, Love will always find its own way to be able to make it happen, be clear on this. Love never insists upon its own way because it itself knows that it will have its way, it does not need to insist. This is the beauty and the power of love.


The Way Home

Having read what you have to say about your childhood I can say that it is very similar to my own past experience as a child. I too had to watch my mother do things, mainly to myself, that were beyond the normal chastisement towards a child.

From my own experience and also from what I have seen of others experiences in such matters I do not for one second believe that the answer is to delve into the past and recall the memories as if the answers lay in that direction. I do not encourage anyone to uncover memories that were anyway based upon the idea that they were belonging to someone or that they happened to someone.

As long as we remain entertaining the idea that working through memories is the way forward we will be continually going backward and the mind will eventually create new false memories of what took place, it is the play of analysis.

The answer is as I have stated from the first time that we met. The energy that arises prior to the appearance of the memory is what is important and this is the ONLY way to go ahead with the removal of the effects of such past experiences.

One does not have memories ALL the time but if when they arise one jumps into play with them then they are lengthened and reinforced and their continuation is guaranteed so the answer is to simply remain at the level of the sensation prior to the mental stories arising from the sensation.

I say simply but of course initially it is not simple and so it requires a trust that this is the way to go. This trust gives way to a kind of knowing which at a later date gives rise to a higher understanding of how things have moved in the correct direction as the mental stories have dropped away and the sensations also have greatly lessened.

What we put our attention on is fed by our attention. Our attention is the first activity that arises from the No-Thingness of Being and it therefore creates what it intends to find in what it is seeking into. This means that any story we put our attention on brings more of that story into play and not less of it.

I have met many people who have been in psychiatric “care”, and also know many who have turned to psychologists for help, which is a step in a better direction as far as I am concerned, but have never seen a result that could be said to have brought them to a place of natural balance. There were always residues remaining after analysis and in the case of medication and psychiatry all the problems later resurfaced.

The first thing that is required is that one realizes that no one can undo the knot of confusion for you and also that you yourself cannot do it by any method. Staying with the sensation prior to it appearing as a mental story, that then reinforces the story endlessly, is the only way through the maze of mindstuff. This implies doing absolutely NOTHING, allowing things to be as they are and noting what is arising without being drawn into the many patterns of avoidance which the mind has created to get away from the sensations.

These sensations are the doorway THROUGH and beyond the jungle of the mental AND the feelings.

These things belong to a mind that has become very confused due to bad programming from people who themselves were badly programmed by people who themselves were etc etc etc

When I found out what my mothers childhood was like, many years after the effect she had had on me had subsided, I felt only sadness towards her for what she had been through. She felt this and acknowledged that in her new connection with me, I had not seen her for twenty six years. Our new relationship was fresh and open and left us free in one another’s company to be ourselves.

So as always I will repeat STAY WITH THE FEELING!

The going into of the story serves absolutely no purpose in removing the problem, which is the stories themselves. Remaining at the level of the feelings with intention to get them to go in a particular direction is of no use either, as this intention will be coming from the problematic mind play anyway.

Reread this if necessary over and over until you see clearly what is being stated here.

This is NOT new information about how to solve a problem of the mind but information that has one simple message in it.

Problems cannot be solved, they disappear when they DIS-solve, nothing of them then remains.

The mind has developed many strategies to avoid touching the sensations that arise prior to the mental stories and so these patterns of avoidance will be present but if the attention remains on the natural unfolding of the sensations and not moved by the sensations patterns then they will drop away.

When this takes place there will be nothing, no mental activity and no feeling activity and in that there is freedom, freedom from the original problem, the idea that one is a person.

You and I and all other beings are not what we believe ourselves to be, we are this that remains when all that can be classified as personal has dropped away.

We are No-thing, Emptiness, impersonal and free.

This is the way home, there is no other door.

May you recognize what is written here and pass through this hinge-less door to the place that you have never actually left.

With much Love



The delight of Life is surprise, what would life be if one revealed the future all the time before it took place? Would it be worth living?

Everything that happens to us happens, just happens, it cannot be made to happen and it cannot be made to not happen, it is in the pipeline.

There is the illusion that someone is in charge of life and that this imagined someone has control over what takes place and what does not. If this were true there would be no suffering, but there is.

As long as this idea that there is someone that can change what arises is present there is suffering.

When this concept falls away so does the suffering as the resister is no longer present.

When letting go happens the imagined separate one’s will surrenders to the will of the Divine as the separate one is seen to be non existent.

In every detail of all the circumstances that arises as what appears to be ones personal life there is nothing personal. Life happens without the consent of what is imagined to be a person.

Life simply happens.


Free falling

How one enters into any new situation in one’s life is the deciding factor of how one passes through that situation. How one passes through it is what decides the outcome and the further unfolding in ones outer life.

If fear is present as one approaches this new situation it is this fear that will dictate the outcome of what will be experienced. There will therefore be a holding back to what one imagines one already knows.

If there is no fear present the outcome will be dependent on and dictated by this lack of fear. There will be a welcoming of what arrives, a willingness to enter the unknown with trust.

This is true in each and every circumstance where we are faced with a situation for which we have no blueprint, that we have no past experience of.

Considering that there is the possibility of a much talked about quantum change in these next few weeks to a predicted new dimension are we ready for this leap in consciousness?

If beforehand we have been open and willing to awaken to this possibility we will naturally have taken in information to the point of intuiting it.

When we intuitively understand something we cannot fear that same thing as our fear of anything is always due to our ignorance of it. If therefore we understand to the point of intuitively understanding fear cannot be present in that particular circumstance.

This means quite simply that if we enter any new moment in our Life openly without fear it is because we have beforehand been open to the given information and so we are prepared for for that new moment.

The concept of living in a new dimension would require the being open to and the taking in of a lot of information that would seem at least a bit outside the normal boundaries of sanity as we would have no prior blueprint in this three dimensional reality for what may come in another dimension.

Maybe this quantum jump will not take place but in a sense that does not matter as if the willingness, the readiness, to embrace whatever life brings is present every moment of every day this itself will be a stepping into the unknown and a letting go of yesterday, a detaching from the past.

In this way one is already in another dimension and Life can, and will, move in a way that is magical and without limitation, without fear.

Why wait another day or even another moment for what predictions promise is to come? If one is open and willing to receive the new right now the jump has already taken place and what is promised in a carbon seven world in a future moment will be found to have already been here all along.

In this way another dimension will be just another experience, another new day like all the ones you have experienced.

Trust and let go, just jump without seeing where or whether you will land and in this free falling you will be free, free of the you of yesterday. True freedom is freedom from the concept of being someone. This realization that one is not a person IS the new dimension.


The Master Dreamer

In the Toltec tradition a human being is born into the dream of another human being who has reached a point of intuitive understanding that has given them the ability to redream the world. This one who has this ability is known as the Master Dreamer.

Such a one rearranges the dream of Life in such a way that the outer circumstances give greater ability for those alive at that time to realise their ability to become also a Master Dreamer.
The deepest desire of the one who becomes a Master Dreamer is to realise this ability to redream the world, the second desire is that all who are alive within the dream realise their ability to dream the the world.

The first step in this skill of dreaming the world is to realise that feelings and thoughts are the building blocks of what appears outwardly as the world. Once this is realised the skill of creating a new world appearance develops.
From the very begining of this initial realisation the redesiging of the world begins.
In this process one returns to ones natural state and regains the ability to see through the eyes of love, love then is the guiding hand that paints the new picture of the world.
The ability to dream a world in which all benefit is here as the result of all those who reached the position of Master Dreamer, both now and in the past.
Are you ready to drop all the beliefs that you have so far relied upon, which are all secondhand information, and begin to dream the world that you wish to see manifest?
This ability is yours right now, it is your birthright.

“Blessed are the dreamers for they shall inherit the world” J.C.

With much Love


The helper

What becomes clear after a period of the conscious seeking taking place is that the ego mind always wants to do the job of helping to reach enlightenment. This is its strategy for maintaining its image of itself as the doer or controller of what is simply happening.

Any form of meditation that holds an intention within it is for a future moment and as long as this imagined future moment is envisioned so is the continuation of the ego concept. What is a requirement for awakening is the realization that there is no actual past or future, just the moment, which has already dissolved when it has been claimed to be.

In the seeing of Oneness not only is there no past or future, other than a thought arising in that particular way, but there is no NOW! The term “Be Here Now” has no place in this seeing for where is NOW?

This term also implies that there is a someone to be here now and this is not the case. There is not and never has been a someone here now, such a term is based upon a deep ignorance and given as an order by this ignorance to an imagined someone. There is only this and this is already passed by the time it is claimed to be this, immediately replaced by a new this.

In fact unless the word THIS is referring directly to Awareness, which is the permanent this, it is a misused word. Awareness is an unchanging, permanent presence, even in those moments when its attention is on objects, and therefore unaware of itself. It is ALWAYS present as THIS that cannot be described because it is not a thing as such, it is indescribable because of the very fact that it has no description.

Usually when an experience has taken place which the mind has claimed to be enlightenment the expression is stated with awe “ It is indescribable WOW ”. This is a description of something NOT nothing. In the moment of actual realization there is a wow but is a gentle wow, a sort of “Ah! This is it” in all its obviousness, nothing new, totally familiar.

The so called spiritual seeker has been filled with the nonsense of spiritual jargon and has been measuring that against all the experiences, waiting for that to fit one of those experiences and so confirm that enlightenment has taken place. The moment of enlightenment is self confirming and fits none of the previously given descriptions for it has no description.

No help at all is required of the ego to bring about the elimination of the ego as the entity that it is imagined to be, when it is seen to be no more than an activity.

Any help or effort with intention will guarantee the continuation of the ego concept holding its place in the mind as an imagined entity.

This does not mean that there is abstinence from experience, in fact experiences are taken on board more fully than ever as there is no one to refuse them and so they are received and expressed fully. They come, they remain in expression momentarily and they dissolve, leaving behind THIS that is NOT an experience. All is simply happening, to no one.

Too often it is seen that helpers are present offering solutions in the form of deliberate doing to imagined doers to bring about the moment when it is realized that there is no doer, only the action of doing taking place as the stillness of Awareness releases and gives rise to another bubble of activity. This is a joke, the Divine joke, for ALL action is Divine action. The one imagined to be resisting this recognition and the one imagined to be no longer resisting are both activities of the One.

No one realizes and no one does not realize, these both are impersonal actions arising as sensation or thought, witnessed by this empty Awareness, no one.

When this is clearly seen it is obvious that all seeing is seen, witnessed, by the same Being and that it is this Being itself which is manifesting temporarily as things but is in itself the no-thing within which the manifestation is appearing, it is all One.

This then is “I”, I am the nothingness out of which all manifests AND the manifestation itself. This is what is true of us all, there is no US, there is only I.

I am appearing as you and myself as these apparently separate objects in all circumstances. There is therefore no actual separation but only apparent separation, the former is a BELIEF and the latter is SEEN. The former is the illusion of no other than the latter, witnessing , for there is no actual witness only witnessing. Throughout the whole of creation that is action only, no actor.

“ There is doing but no doer thereof ”

The Buddha

“ There is writing but no writer, a verb but no noun.”


BE your Self

For 99% of our lifetime 99% of the people we meet

tell us how we SHOULD be and how wrong we are.
There comes a moment when a quiet small voice inside says
ENOUGH I AM ME, MYSELF! I cannot be otherwise!
From that moment the maths changes …..
the people we meet begin to be in agreement more and more
with what we do or say,
with our being in agreement with ourself.
Then even those who dislike us respect us,
just because we are respecting and honoring ourself.
How could it be otherwise? when from beginning to end
all is One Self, our own Self.
There are no others when Love is true.


None to enlighten


In the taking up and the following of a so-called spiritual path the illusion from the very beginning is that there is an entity, a someone, within the body/mind that is seeking enlightenment. This illusion is not at all true, it is an illusion, there is no such someone. It is but is an assumption of the mind only. Based upon this assumption the mind then gives instruction TO this imagined someone about HOW this imagined someone can get ENLIGHTENMENT.

Enlightenment is the seeing, by no one, that there is no one.

Enlightenment is that moment when it is realised that there is no one in the human form and that there never was and never will be. How is it then possible, based on the assumption that there is someone, which is a wrong assumption to begin with, to go about removing this someone that does not exist by applying personal, deliberate, intentional action to remove this some-one?

The whole concept of something, some event, called enlightenment exists in this idea that there is SOMEONE present to get enlightened. A someone that is no more than an assumption of the mind. Enlightenment therefore does not exist as there is none for whom it can exist. That therefore leaves only THIS, what is, appearance manifesting in Nothingness. Already this is always the case. It is the case right now.

There is only enlightenment.

This means then that the moment that the mind has convinced itself that there is someone it proceeds to spend its time creating ways to remove what has never existed except as an idea that it itself holds to be true of this imagined entity.

Clearly this is ludicrous.

This is like a shadow trying to reach out and grab a shadow brush in its shadow hand with the intention of trying to scrub itself out.

All that is required from the very beginning is to look to see directly if this someone is present as other than an idea, as a thing, an entity. It will be found that there is no-one and that what is looking is nothingness.



Me + You = One

What does Life actually consist of? I am not talking about our so-called private, personal lives but Life as a whole.

In order for you or I to experience Life there  must be two things present, an experience and an experience-er. Regardless of what is experienced, negative or positive, these apparent two things have to be in place, without them there would be no experience.

What should be clear to us, yet for some reason is not, is that we experience our body in the same way that we experience any other object, as a thing. Somehow we have got a bit misidentified with the experience and lost sight of the experiencer and we barely notice this fact. I claim that the body is what I am when in fact this is not my first-hand experience. My first-hand experience is that “I”, whatever this is, is not the body but what knows of the body as an experience.

I experience the world, of which my body is a part, and so obviously I am the experiencer yet somehow I have fallen into a case of mistaken identity and claim that the body, which is my experience, is what I am. If I claim this to be true I am claiming that I am an object just as every other thing in my world is an object. Yet it is clear that the object is not the experiencer but the experience. ALL experiences of my world, including my body, are EXPERIENCED and they are experienced by an EXPERIENCE-ER.

So if the body itself is not what “I” am then “I” must be something apart from the body that is in itself absent of any experience. As the subject of all objectified experience, and all experience IS objectified, “I” must be the subject and as this subjective “I” myself cannot be an object. I am not an object and therefore cannot be an experience in myself but the absence of experience.  As the absence of experience I am therefore in myself a non-experience which can take in all the experiences of Life, of my world. This has to be true for every human being. We, each one of us, whilst appearing to be separate objects, are actually non-experience experiencing the world through a human form which is part of our experience. We therefore are not the body itself.

The body is an instrument for experiencing the human experience. Without it “I” could not experience Love, joy, sadness, pain, sympathy for apparent others or any of the other experiences that make up a human experience. This incredibly intricate and complex vehicle that “I”, the non-experience, needs in order to experience Life is this object that I have mistakenly been calling “I”.

“I” am no more this body than than my car is “I” when if I forget that the body is driving it. “I” am what appears to be inside the body as a non-experience. Somehow this very obvious fact has been overlooked which is strange somehow as it should be most obvious.

If I look for myself as this non-experience, this “I”, what do I find? Certainly not an experience! In fact nothing , or rather no-thing, is to BE found. I see that I am absent of thing-ness. “I” am not a feeling or a taste or a smell or a sound or an colour or shape, all of which can be described as objects, but the absence of such things. I am a sort of presence of some sort which “I” sort of know is present but as what? I have no idea, I cannot describe this, yet it is obvious that this that has no description, but is aware of itself, is what I am. I am No-thing.

This therefore must be the same for all human forms, this non-experience living through the experienced form and experiencing the world. If this is so, and it is! This is where I fully meet others for here I AM the apparent others.  This “I” and the “I” of the apparent other is the same I.

In seeing my SELF to be “I” I see that all other are this same “I”. So although my outer experience of the world is that it is full of OTHER people my inner experience is that all the OTHERS are no other than my Self. We are all the same Self, One-Self, one`s true Self is ONE Self !

All my imagined problems with “others” have been based upon a wrong identification. All my so –called personal problems have been based on this idea that I was a limited being within a body when the Truth is “I” am in all bodies, I am unlimited. All of the human problems therefore are also this. The problem of conflict , war, hatred and all those activities based upon the sense of separation between imagined others dissolve here in this realization that “WE”, which itself is an illusion , are all “I”, all are the same Self functioning through all the forms.

All the problems of mankind are based upon this wrong assumption of separation, this wrong identification with one`s self. It is all based on a case of mistaken identity.

The only way therefore to solve ALL the problems, both the personal AND the problems of ALL humanity and at the international level, is to see clearly what “I” is. When I know that I am you and you are I, that we all are “I”, finally Love is true of us. When action then arises from the conscious recognition of this Love all action will serve both one`s self and the One-Self.

The realization and awakening to what we are is the answer to ALL of humanity`s problems.

Are you the experience or the One that is experiencing? Look for your Self because only you have the authority to state the answer. Is what we call “I” a thing or the aware no-thing-ness that is reading these words right now THROUGH the body.

If you SEE this clearly then you have just realised that what you have read is your own message to yourself. Welcome back home, to the place that you have never left !!!

“Least aware of what he should be most assured, His glassy essence”

William Shakespeare


Feeling the fear

There is nothing wrong with being afraid but if we give into it we desensitise the body and suffer. Fear can be used to enliven the body and bring focus to the mind, when this is clear we can welcome it in the knowledge that we benefit from it.

We are in very strange times now and anyone who does not feel fear is either enlightened or has a mental problem, I am not sure which in my case LOL.
What I have been talking about for years now is happening and if we can face this and not try to hide in the hope that it will go away it can change for the better, we will all come out of it stronger in ourselves. If we are able to be open and allow the impact of information to be felt it will lead us to our true self. Yes we will have to face the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness and uselessness but if these are fully felt we arrive in a place within ourselves where we are the power that creates the universe. This is where the change for the better for ALL can take place, ONLY from here. You are not alone in this as many are realising what is happening and are willing to be open without hiding and it is in this way that we can bring about change.
There are no plans or strategies that will change the present situation on this planet. Only by allowing what we see and hear etc to have its affect upon us without denying it will bring about the much needed change. “I” is the greatest power that exists and only “I” can change the dream of the world. The requirement now is that we take what is happening to face whatever arises as reaction and stay present to it until “I” is revealed, We are heading into a time of mass enlightenment, conscious awareness of the fact that we are all the same Being, it is already happening. The fear is of the one that imagines itself to exist, the ego, and that one will die in the fire of the fear leaving behind this which never dies and is never threatened, “I”.
This is our adventure.